El Segundo– Officials at G&M Plumbing have confirmed that Art Director, Kelvin Mak may soon be looking for another job after a couple recent indiscretions. The most serious involves a Honeybaked ham which was delivered by a junior creative as a gift to the two principals, Mickey Taylor and Glenn Miller.

Witnesses say that while the co-creative directors were out of the office, Mr. Mak absconded with the ham, taking it home for a holiday feast. Mr. Mak was caught when the junior creative called the office and asked the principals if “they enjoyed the ham.” Mr. Miller said, “we had no idea what this kid was talking about but then we noticed Kelvin acting very suspicious, and slightly overweight.” When the principals asked Mr. Mak about the missing ham, he finally admitted the theft. “His breath reeked of ham, so he couldn’t really deny it,” said Mr. Taylor.

Miller and Taylor admonished Mak for his poor judgment and banished him to designing direct mail pieces until he can prove his trustworthiness. “His apology seemed heartfelt so we decided to let sleeping dogs lie,” noted Miller.

But just days after what is now known at G&M as the “Ham Incident” Mr. Mak exhibited yet another gross lack of judgement. At the G&M holiday party, Mr. Mak began dancing “very suggestively” with the principals wives. Said Account Executive Anne Takehara, “I think I even saw some groping around the buttocks area.” Others in attendance witnessed a good amount of “bumping and grinding.” Mr. Miller and Mr. Taylor had wondered what happened to their wives at the party when the three returned “quite sweaty.” “I knew something was fishy given the look on Kelvin’s face when he returned from the dance floor,” remembers Miller. “He just had this goofy grin,” he added.

Mr. Miller and Mr. Taylor plan to meet later this week to make a decision on Mr. Mak’s fate. “He eats our food, dances with our wives, what’s next?” asked Taylor “I’m bound to come home and find him in my God damned robe, wearing my slippers, and drinking my fucking Brandy,” he added.