MANHATTAN BEACH, Ca—The buzz heard through the agency’s halls and break rooms this week strangely did not center around belittling the work of other agencies, March Madness or the complete letdown of this year’s MTV Spring Break lineup but rather on national politics.

Associate creative director Cary Ruby opened the floor by babbling on for an unbelievable 17 straight minutes. The rambling discourse where he tried to prove his degree in political science wasn’t a complete waste of four years of his life, was met with mockery by co-workers and was punctuated by several hilarious faces made behind his back.

Agency founder Glenn Miller thanked Ruby for having made everyone dumber for listening. Ruby was also invited by the group to move to San Francisco with the rest of the “hippy losers.”

Art director Brian Engleman shrugged off Ruby’s concerns over greenhouse emissions, stating, “Hey, if it improves the surf break and warms up the water a little I got no problem with it.” Engleman went on to articulate his concerns over rising gas prices, saying “Screw that!”

Highlights from the heated roundtable included the phrase “Just nuke ‘em all” being uttered an unprecedented 33 times, and Kate Vuturo’s claim that if she were president she would make all the world leaders sit down and work out their differences. When asked how she planned on accomplishing such a feat, Vuturo replied, “I’d take them to Vegas. Road trips are good bonding experiences.” Her comments were met with eye rolls from, well, everyone.

Stephanie Stevens was also critical of Bush’s foreign policy, but expressed optimism that Dick Cheney would make a good Vice President. Whether she knew Cheney was already the Vice President was unclear.

In attempt to hear himself talk more, Ruby confronted producer Anne Takehara on what her “brilliant solution” to the rising cost of prescription drugs was, Takehara responded, “I’m a Christian Scientist, so I really could care less.”

Two hours and many insults later it was discovered that none of the participants in the heated conversation were registered voters, making the forum even more meaningless than previously considered.